I’m going for it.

“What, kind sir,” might you ask, “is this IT you speak of?”

Why thank you, esteemed reader, I’m glad you asked. IT is something I have coveted for a very long time. IT is long, IT is scraggly, and IT is glorious. This guy has one…

Look at that face. He’s afraid I’m going to take IT away.

IT … is a Viking beard.

I have been an ongoing supporter of the annual Movember event, where men across the world put down their razors for the month of November and let that glorious face fuzz do whatever the hell it wants. And not just for the poops and giggles, the Movember Foundation funds a slew of men’s health projects, so it’s all for a good cause. It’s a fun and easy way to raise awareness and I recommend that men participate.

This past November, I had myself a little brain tickle … Why stop? Go for it. Go for the Ragnar Lothbrok. You’re Nordic anyway, it’ll look great.

“Damn fine idea,” I replied to the voice in my head. “I shall become one with the Ragnar.”

And thus, I make a pledge to you, kind reader. I shall not to shave my chin mane for the entirely of 2017. This time next year, I will respond to this post with a glorious man-beard of epic proportions. I shall join the ranks of my Viking brethren, hoist a horn of ale, and wear chainmail to the grocery store.

Well, crap. What started out as an epic beard-growing adventure has stalled. I must beat back my chin mane in order to take part in a science fiction pilot for CBS produced by Andy Weir (author of The Martian). The good news is, I submitted my standard promo pic and they liked it enough to cast me. The bad news is, I showed up to prelims with my four-month beard and they were like, “Nope, shave that shit.” Alas, I must part with the scruff, but only temporarily. I have a two-week shoot, then I can start the process all over again. And for posterity’s sake, here’s how far I got before going under the shears:

Oh the irony! After the CBS pilot concluded, I started growing the beard out AGAIN, and had to cut it off AGAIN. Long story short, growing a beard is fun and easy when you are sitting at home writing like a reclusive weirdo. But, when you’re out and about trying to build a professional reputation for a movie based on said writing, a scruffy chin bush doesn’t give the sleekest impression. And so, I hacked it back to a cleaner length. Here’s the end of the experiment in its full glory: